apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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