This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
