Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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