Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
