C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
