im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
