i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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