No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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