I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
