Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
