I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize