On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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