she looked like the bat from fern gully.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
