I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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