Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
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Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
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That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize