Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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