I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
