you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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