i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
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He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
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You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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