Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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