You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
