My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
