we have officially lost it.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
