Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
