how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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