Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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