No, drunk sperm still make babies.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
