No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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