is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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