i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
