YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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