Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
