I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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