i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i came on her dog
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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