dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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