I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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