so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
