Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
