there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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