I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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