I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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