his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
