I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
