How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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