i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
