I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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