he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
