Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
