Your dad touched me again.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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