dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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