I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
