based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize