'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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