Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
