Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
