as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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