Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
