Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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